LOTR: The Return of the King
By Jiasen Low On December 19, 2003
Under General
Things to do while watching LOTR: The Return of the King
Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, “Wait… where the hell is Harry Potter?”
Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
After the movie, say “Lucas could have done it better.”
At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: “I must go! Middle Earth needs me!” and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.
Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: “The Ring.”
Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts, and if so, what house do you think he was in.
Finish off every one of Elrond’s lines with “Mr. Anderson.”
At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians. -Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone’s finger and fall down the stairs.
When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.
When Denethor lights the fire, shout “Barbecue!”
Ask people around you who they think is the next “Terminator” sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins.
Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment and shout, “I see dead people!”
Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.
Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.
When Sam holds Frodo’s hand (or otherwise), start singing, “The Ambiguously Gay Duo!”
If any of you have anything you’d like to add, please contribute by commenting below. Thanks!
